No one likes goodbyes and I for one, I'm no different. The anxiety of the unknown coupled with grief of loss can leave you crippled, numb and outright fearful.

Some goodbyes are expected meanwhile others just happen, unexpected and unannounced. But no matter the foreseeable or unforeseen, they all hurt like hell.

I prayed for a goodbye. I prayed constantly and continuously. I prayed for a goodbye from pain and hurt, from manipulation and frustration, from depression and anxiety and to me from negative energy and people.

Well one day my prayers were answered in an unexpected way. Everything I prayed to get rid of I began to hold on to in fear. It was the fear of not knowing how to live happily with a clear conscience and free mind. It was the fear of not being so naive that I was easily manipulated and the fear of actually loving me with every flaw I possess, every imperfection.

I didn't want to say goodbye anymore. I wanted to keep what was familiar even to the detriment of myself. But a part of me wanted more, it said to me "You deserve more". And so I gave in to that 'foolish' thought and decided to let go!

I embraced my flaws. I smiled when God started moving negative people and situations from my life. The space that was filled but was void, became available; available to accept the things which I truly wanted and deserved. I learned to accept my imperfections and challenge my emotions. No longer will I allow them to dictate to me but I will feel them, accept them and respond accordingly.

I said goodbye, and for once it was the goodbye that actually felt GOOD!