What do you do when the feeling of wanting to belong, wanting to feel loved or simply cuddle with someone, but you’ve made the decision to not date and also to practice celebacy? 

These feelings are real and in making the decision to be celebate, we often overlook these feelings or we think we would be able to mask or control them. 

Our nature craves companionship and intimacy, it’s a natural feeling. I’m not talking about sexual relations but intimacy in a sense of ‘belonging’. 

Sometimes as a human being, you crave the companship of the opposite sex. You want more than just your friends coaching you along the journey. You want someone to tell you just how beautiful you are, how sincere, intriguing and motivating you are, and you want them to mean it. It’s something about hearing those things from someone other than your family or close friends that seems to hit a soft spot inside you. 

So what do you do when you’re feeling ‘some type of way’? … One, you accept the way you feel. Don’t try to mask those feelings by saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way” or experience guilt for feeling such a way; instead own your feelings and learn your trigger points. Learn what drives those emotions and how you can deal with them. 

Second, you should know it’s okay to be in the company of the opposite sex but you must be strong enough to not comprise yourself. Having accountability partners are crucial and you should know before hand, the person whose company you’re going to be in. Be honest about your goals and celibacy and your expectations for wanting to meet with them. 

Isolation can be unhealthy. It’s also not natural. Our creator made us for relationships (friendship, marriages, families). 

It’s okay to feel, it’s okay to socialize, it’s okay to date! You must set standards and boundaries, as these would help you stick to your goals while being a social butterfly.